ish

I'm kicking myself for this. I think, I almost know that I'm changing my mind about going dirty backpacker in December. I just don't want to admit it yet.

A month ago I was certain about doing this; go travel, rough it out without the usual luxuries, go at it alone, see new places, have new experiences. But now that I've booked my flight and have gotten down to the little details - transport, budget, accomodation, things to do - I'm chickening out. I don't really want to rough it out. Been there, done that. I've gone without hot water for a month, collected a layer of dirt on my skin so thick that I could rub it off in the shower, stayed in places that were so filthy the bathroom soap had pubic hair encrusted on it, had my bones shaken and bum bruised by 7 hour long bus rides on dirt roads. With no air conditioning. In the hot and dry Indochina season.

It was fun, I liked playing that role. And I've been wanting to do it again for the past few months (not so much the filthy guesthouse thing though). But do I want to do it now? I don't think so. I am not relishing the thought of going dirty backpacker now and not very enthusiastic about doing it alone. I like my creature comforts and I don't want to be alone with only myself for company. No Internet, no cellphone, no communication with the 'normal' world. And I hate to admit it but lying to my mom about having a travelling companion is killing me. It is safe to go alone, I know that from everyone I've talked to who's been there and who lives there but there is no way she would let me go alone. Which is why I have to lie to put her mind at ease. Knowing that doesn't help with the guilt though, and each time I speak to her about the trip it gets harder and harder.

So I'm re-examining my reasons for wanting to go.

i. final fling (kind of) before having to work and be responsible. Throw off the shackles of everyday life and just wander.
- I don't feel the same urge to do it anymore. I'm content. I'm not quite ready to go back to KL yet but taking a side trip doesn't hold the same appeal it did before. I've done it before so it's not a novelty. And I don't want to abandon civilization any more. The shackles of everyday life are actually very comfortable.

ii. see places, eat things
- I do still want to do this, but the list of places I want to go to now is considerably shorter. Bangkok is obviously still on the list, Chiang Mai is a probably, I would still like to check out Luang Prabang. But Phonsavan, Vientiane, Si Pan Don etc. not so much. I want a lazy chilled out holiday. Rushing from one place to the next isn't lazy, it is stressful.

iii. an interim between KL and Sydney to heal and be alone
- I don't need this anymore. Melbourne did me good and I think being alone with myself for three weeks might actually undo that.

Sigh. I am truly a fickle little twit. I'll probably rebook my ticket to shorten the trip. A week or two maybe. Bangkok is a must, Chiang Mai and Luang Prabang maybe.

revised itinerary

Chiang Mai - Ban Houayxay - Louang Phrabang - Phonsavan - Vientiane - (if there's time, Si Phan Don) - Bangkok

this after narrowing down the suggestions from Duncan re:Laos and throwing out his more bizzare preferences ('I like to go to the places tourists don't go because there are no sights for them there' = off the road/ bombed out by the Americans)

also, travel in the daytime because the scenery is beautiful. That means I should put aside at least 3 days for traveling on the road.

10 days? I think Si Pan Don might not happen this time around

-germinating-

Ok, this will take the place of my no-go solo jump

Places to visit/ worship in Thailand:

Ayuthaya
Chiang Mai (yes, again) - take the train up from BKK
BKK (obviously)
islands - not sure which ones yet, but eyeing Phi Phi
want to check out the south too but these bloody travel warnings.. the food would be different there from central and northern Thailand. it would only be fair!

and then off the beaten track (at least as far off as you can get in Thailand..) :
Ranong?
"The least charming of the Andaman coast's provincial capitals, Ranong lies on the east bank of tea-brown Pak Chan estuary, a short boat ride from Myanmar. This is a frontier town through and through, with a frenetic, downtrodden feel and a mix of Burmese and Thais scrambling for your tourist dollar. The town attempts to woo visitors not only with its interesting visa runs to Myanmar (Burma), but with a clutch of natural hot springs and a handful of tumbledown historic buildings. Even if you don't need to renew your visa, it's well worth taking the opportunity to have a cup of tea in Myanmar - but the bleak town of Ranong doesn't entice a stay longer than a day or two." - Lonely Planet
bleakness sounds promising. and i could hop across the border into Myanmar for a bit. but i don't like the sound of frenetic Burmese and Thais scrambling for my tourist dollar. bears consideration this one.

not off the beaten track but intruiging:
Pattaya
this is what Lonely Planet (again, so help me) says about it
"A heavy-breathing and testosterone-fuelled testament to holiday hedonism, Pattaya has lured tourists for almost four decades, and it's showing no sign of slowing down. And as past visitors move on to more genteel Thai resorts, first-time travellers from Russia and Eastern Europe now air their new passports with a fling in Asia's first and foremost Sin City. Anyone for Pattayagrad?"
herm... maybe to humour my curiousity

I have this urge to cover all corners of Thailand and then trek back to the center for a civilized break with the family. But the south is off limits for now, the Andaman coast offers Phuket but 'been there done that' and the rest of that side still has a [recovering from the tsunami] sign hung on the door. that might be an opportunity to do some 'community tourism' but god, how I hate the sound of that. It's so patronising and do-gooder who comes in for a weekend and goes 'oh, i helped rebuild this village'. harumph.

ALTERNATIVELY
It could be a BKK - Chiang Mai -
option (a) transit in bkk and take land route into Cambodia to trip out at Angkor again - 6 hours on dirt roads isn't that bad, done it before :) it gives you a massive headache but yeah, not unbearable
option (b) transit in bkk and take train into Laos and make way to Vientiane
option (c) take bus from Chiang Mai to border town of Huay Xai (Laos) and boat into Luang Prabang (yay, Laotian boat person!) and then check out Vientiane?

and that's as far as I've got right now. Eventually to head back to BKK and Ayuthaya and BKK and finally KL.

Laos sounds quite appealing actually. Angkor can wait for another trip and I've been there once, even if it wasn't enough.

trip?

before i forget, this is an idea

december - Bangkok with sisters and mom is on. For a few days only though. Go earlier and backpack around for 2-3 weeks? JL might be in Chiang Mai by then, T in Bangkok

might be able to rope in JL for island hopping. ko samui, phiphi!! probably not full moon parties though. over the booze and drugs and partying thing.

ooh, could hop over the border into siam reap. and then laos. and maybe vietnam. not sure what's in myanmar but junta there.. ergh. hmm... wanderlust..

research! of the good kind :)
and I have until monday off from thesis stuff. yay!