2009 - 2010

Year ends are always difficult for me. The past few years have been especially trying and as I get older, things around me seem to get more complicated, more difficult to unravel.

2008 was filled with upheaval. Periods of stagnation interspersed with bad choices appears to have been the theme for this year.

I wonder about this job - it is beginning to bore me and I've been at it barely 6 months

I wonder about this country - should I remain here? How do I get away?

I wonder about this boy and that boy - mistakes I can't let go of

I wonder about the people I've lost touch with or pushed away - I've been remiss and in some cases, childish

So this is my apology to all. I'm sorry for the things I've done and the things that I haven't done.
I don't make New Year's resolutions but after 24 years without, maybe it's time to start.
For 2010, I will be more thoughtful and less proud. I will put more thought (or at least try to put more thought) into my actions before I go through with them. I will try to be more forgiving of others. I will try to understand more. I will put more effort into maintaining friendships.

Maybe. You know I'll probably say 'ef it all' tomorrow.