chew the cud

So i was thinking about this in the shower. it's been in the back of my mind for awhile now but I've skirted the issue deliberately, not wanting to have to change my habits. but ultimately, I believe that this is something no thinking person can avoid confronting. it's a small step to take from purchasing food to wondering where it came from, who made it, under what conditions, and at what cost (not in the dollar sense but in an environmental and social sense, which could and should be translated into economic value but I'm not the person to do that). whether you acknowledge it or not, the answers to these questions have a direct relation to you.

Once these questions have been asked, the answers are easy to find. Michael Pollan is a good place to start, as is Peter Singer but there are other writers out there I haven't read who have written on the subject. There is too much to go into here and I can't pull the facts out of my head automatically but trust me on this (and if you don't, investigate for yourself) the issue of ethical food matters. Where was your food grown? How far has it travelled to get to you? Who grew it and was s/he paid a fair wage? What is in your food (this is particularly relevant when you're looking at processed foods)? Under what conditions was your food grown and are these conditions sustainable? These are the questions that ought to be asked.

It's funny that it took a bar of chocolate I picked up out of curiousity to lead me to this point. See I started thinking in the shower about the trade-off that I make as a consumer in choosing to purchase that expensive ($5 for a 40g bar, to compare $5 for a 250g block of commercial chocolate) piece of chocolate. Simple math, if you look at it from a purely economic angle but then think about what was on the back of the 40g bar. Organic. Fairly traded. Locally made (if using imported cacao). A short, explicit ingredient list (I had a packet of Dove chocolates around. Ingredients: sugar, cocoa mass, cocoa butter, milk solids, emulsifier, flavours, Note the ambiguity of 'flavours', 'emulsifier'. Dove chocs are made by the Mars company too so that means that the cocoa used was not fairly traded).

The bottom line is, I can eat the expensive local, organic, fairly traded chocolate with a clear conscience knowing I have not contributed to a company which condones unfair trade and does not practice full disclosure to the average consumer of its products. Instead of giving money to a large corporation which prioritizes its growth, I'm giving money to a company which funnels it to a community which has worked for it and needs it. This I can live with, even though this chocolate costs 6 times more than the other. I don't need to eat that much more chocolate and I'm willing to cut back on my intake of what is essentially a luxury since the little that I will consume has been ethically produced. It won't make a difference to my food budget (don't really have one, but hypothetically speaking now) because I'll be spending the same amount on chocolate. Less of it, to be sure, but of ethical origins. Extending this to other food groups means that in some, maybe many cases, what I pay for will be of better quality and better nutritional value (fresh produce gets main mention here).

Coincidentally, I'm painting my nails a shimmery rich chocolate. yum.

Dinner: tortilla-base pizza (because the one thing I baulk at is yeast. Especially when I'm hungry) with prosciutto, rocket, bocconcini and tomato. I have some prosciutto to use up and it's too intensely flavoured to eat in a sandwich. shouldn't have bought so much. damn DJs. d-oh. melons and bocconcini and I'm set.


There was a woman in the bus today with a funny hiccoughing laugh. haha. stop. haha. stop. literally. at some point on the way to the city this woman in a suit scooted into the empty seat in front of me. i was distracted for awhile by the hiccup-laugher and then spaced out like you do on bus rides. then i noticed that the woman in front of me appeared to be sleeping, leaning against the side of the bus. she must have had a rough day. since it was 1 in the afternoon, maybe she had to work really early too. as i exited the bus, i glanced at her. puffy faced and tired-eyed. a twinge of sympathy.

constellations

the End is in sight. the email read that tomorrow's meeting will be short. I interpret that to mean that there's little to correct or change and it is near acceptable for submission.


So I tripped home, first peaches of the season in hand, dawdling and anticipating. And admiring my gold nails every chance I got. Every time I want to check my watch I get distracted and look at my nails instead and forget about the time. tsk.

:)

The bad news, depending on how you see it, is that I feel the stirrings of my ink addiction. I should name them, just for ease of reference (and also because I secretly think they've each got a distinct personality. Or they are associated with a different me). The last one kept me satisfied for almost two years now, so that's a bit of a record. No piercings etc since then either.16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 and nothing up to now. It IS a new record! woo hoo! I can't believe I got something done every year of my life since I was 16. Never counted until now.

This time around I want something
a. at the base of my neck/top of my back (obviously)
b. shoulder blade

first choice would be a. but that would leave the problem of concealing it should I ever be unfortunate enough to land in a conservative workplace. As for what it would be.... I've come full circle - I want another star. Perhaps a smaller one, not a carbon copy of the first but there aren't that many variations on stars.

Which gives me an interesting idea. I could eventually have a smattering of stars across my body/ canvas. Not just black or solid stars either, maybe have a few red stars, a few outlines of stars, different sizes. That kind of thing. OR instead of having a completely random scatter of stars, I could place them in apparently random positions but have them form a sign/ something-i-just-don't-know-what-yet if I were to draw an imaginary line connecting them. Connect the dots. ooh...

So, a constellation of stars or connect the dots (stars). This would keep me occupied for a decade, I would think. And because each one would be so (relatively that is) small, I could get them done more frequently. Yes, let's bring some order into this whole milestone thing instead of ending up with a completely random assortment of creatures and symbols. Bigger picture yeah

almost there

I *heart* gnocchi filled with spinach and ricotta. It doesn't even need sauce. Browned butter might be nice. mmmm..

The meeting over the first draft lasted two and a half hours but it didn't seem like 2.5 hours. Must have been the coffee. Surprisingly little to change though even if it'll take a few full days to correct. Minor details here and there but Duncan still hasn't criticized anything I've written much. He talks about how he kept scribbling 'excellent!!' instead and wanted a stamp so he wouldn't have to keep writing that. I hope it's just me being overly critical of my own work rather than him being overly easy to impress/ lenient. Now, finding more things to cut is going to be hell. Damn word count. Shouldn't have it. It's repressive.


gnocchignocchignocchignocchi. love the sound of it. gnocchi. too much coffee. gnocchi. shiny blind-you-bright fuschia nails. gnocchi

signs of summer

bikinis (yay, skin!)

shorts and mini skirts and dresses instead of jeans

strawberries on the cheap, all the time

which naturally means that I eat a punnet a day (sometimes)

because they are that good. that red, that sweet, not even dipping them in dark chocolate tops these berries fresh and unadulterated

:)

and yes, that is a package you see in the background. my cousin sent me a message two days ago - keep an eye out for the postman in a week!

it came today

and.. (now i know you'll scold me..)

this was in it

card telling me to hang in there

and the entire Zoya gossip collection

which completely satisfies all my hot-pink and purple cravings :) i know, i know..

plus Zoya ki, top coat, base coat, and quick dry drops

(photos taken with 1.3MP cameraphone so excuse the quality)

on another note, i was distracted by the presence of prawns (not dried, fresh and butterflied) in my papaya salad and wondering about the contents of my package. this is what happened

ooh prawns, i don't think they usually put prawns in papaya salad

(lifts a forkful of salad, briefly note red specks but continue pondering prawns)

munch munch munch

ow. shit. damn chilli. cili padi too

hehehehe

so.
I'm painting my nails OPI's 'go on green'. it's that pale blue-green shimmer someone though might be bitchy looking but it's actually not.
in between chatting with a friend online. and this is a snippet:

IP says:
but I'm a boy

IP says:
it'll be kinda weird painting my nails...

jeen says:
you could paint them with...

jeen says:
(wait again)

jeen says:
http://glossifieds.blogspot.com/search?q=man+glaze

jeen says:
hahaha

IP says:
ewewewewewewewewewewewew

IP says:
dowaaan!

jeen says:
hahahaha

jeen says:
just saying..

IP says:
yesh

jeen says:
eh, but it's not shiny

jeen says:
at all!!

IP says:
I'm. Not. Painting. My. Nails. Period.

jeen says:
dammit

jeen says:
wait, when i get back

jeen says:
you'll get to see my fabolous coloured nails

jeen says:
and then you'll want some for yourself!

IP says:
omg...you so used to do this as a kid, didn't you?

IP says:
tie up boys and paint their nails?

jeen says:
tsk

jeen says:
nope

jeen says:
i put gold glitter on the seat of their chairs though

IP says:
how mean!

IP says:
wasting all that gold glitter

IP says:
!

jeen says:
so not wasted... it shows up really well on brown pants


hehhehheh.. I can't believe I used to do that. good times.. much more innocent times too

but the present is good too. complex maybe, but all the richer for the complexity

*stretch*

first full draft done
almost full
no concluding section yet
because
word count 19800
not including (3) diagrams and TOC and appendices
need to dream up a title
and put together bibliography properly instead of mumbo jumbo state is in now
stop tinkering and adding stuff
for now

'lost in translation?: Local Agenda 21 in Malaysia and and the limits of participation'
hehehehe
hmm.. i like that

going to rock me gold nails tomorrow
wont dry in time for sleep tonight
hate smudged nails
zzzz

there's a worm in my brain

why oh why doesn't my brain work?

3000 - 1000 = 2000

for a discussion chapter. this should be a piece of cake! all I need to do is to churn out 2000 words that reflect on my research findings and draw linkages to 'the bigger picture'. and after the 9000 words monstrosity that was The Chapter, this should be easy.

grrr..... work dammit!


on the bright side, I have pretty nails.
I'm meant to be a bimbo, not an honours student.