cheers darlin'

"the same human frailties, the same human weaknesses"

resonance. The manifestation of these words lies in me, in everything and everyone around me. It is inescapable I suppose, that we repeat the same thoughts, repeat the same mistakes over and over again until something clicks. There is comfort in the familiar, like a well-worn path through the shrubbery. Like treading along such a path, treading the same thoughts and emotions ensures a certain regularity and is facilitated by that which has gone before. It is easy, even when it is not. The dangers of repetition. The comforts of repetition.

It is both dangerous and comforting, this repetition. Like the recitation of a prayer, commited to memory, it requires no new thoughts and no exploration of the unknown. It is already known where they will lead. It is almost an article of faith, to know what lies ahead and to have that certainty, if not consciously, then in the depths of your mind and far underneath the surface of superficialities and self-torment. Because that is part of it, a secret masochistic tendency to inflict pain upon others and yourself. It is this pain that reminds you, that reminds me that I am human after all. That I am not, as I sometimes think, dead inside. To feel emotion, any emotion, is an indicator of life and of humanity. A vital sign, if you will. Possibly, it is proof that the mind does not and cannot conquer all. Sheer intellect and willpower is not enough sometimes.

I forget why repetition is dangerous now.

TBC