disgruntlement

Ipoh was good. I didn't overload on food this time around. The new house is gorgeous.


I miss the still of the silence, as you breathe out I breathe in

Thoughts of S have been echoing in my head for the past few days now. I wake up aching and wishing that life wasn't over, impossible as it was.

come on get higher and loosen my lips

It doesn't help that he appears to have a sixth sense about when I'm thinking about him, about us even if there never really was an 'us'.

pull me down hard

I wonder - are you unsatisfied that I didn't show interest in seeing you before I left? You were lucky - given enough sleep, I woke up in a good mood and sleep addled enough to answer your call.

I miss the pull of your heart, I taste the sparks on your tongue

But somehow, maybe I have too much time on my hands, maybe this maybe that, memories of the two of us together keep playing in my head. In the car, in the middle of conversations and meals, in bed before sleep.

I see angels and devils and god when you come

Everything I can remember of the conversations we had in bed, in your car, over coffee. Secrets, problems, the past and the future but never the present. The little admissions you forced out of me.


So enough already dear head

if I could make you believe, make you forget