Monday

I spent the afternoon in the city. From Chinatown I made my way up to the CBD, felt the heat from the sun on my skin. It's different from what it is in Malaysia. The air here has a clarity I haven't encountered anywhere else; not in Melbourne where it is filtered by cloud cover, more diffuse in Brisbane, and unlike the heavy and dense air in KL. The brilliance startled me every time I returned from a month or three away. Just walking out on a clear day, perhaps after the rain, even in the middle of winter, the clarity of the light makes me smile.

I picked up a loaf of bread, a chocolate hazelnut croissant, and a cherry strudel from one of the best bakeries in the city. The croissant was my lunch on the go, happily leaving a trail of crumbs behind me as I walked through the underground of QVB, back into the light, through Myer, and up to Martin Place to get cupcakes. Knowing that it was one of the last times, possibly the last time I would do that did not make it any less enjoyable and I smiled to myself all the way, chomping on the flaky pastry.

Almost every landmark in this city has a memory attached to it. Places to meet friends or lovers, places to walk alone through the crowds, places to escape from the crowds and just be silent. Over these four years, this city has turned from a stranger to something else. It's sharp beauty, like the edge of a knife would cut through whatever else was fogging my mind; the emotions, preoccupations. And when there were none, it amplified the happiness and peace.The clarity of air I have found only here at times bordered on being overly bright. Almost blinding.

Yet the sharpness never cut me, instead cutting through to me. Frequent pauses for a moment of appreciation, to just stop running for awhile and admire you.

It's an oxymoron - a beautiful city. Cities aren't supposed to be beautiful. They are brick and mortar, steel and concrete, man made defences against nature and the wilderness. They are elegant at best but elegance is not beauty. Somehow you have that quality rare in a city and wear it lightly.